1. Ethics? Nah, they're like a unicorn to them - mythical and non-existent.
2. Slave traders in disguise, that's their hiring strategy.
3. Leaves? WFH? Laptops? Ha! They're as rare as a blue moon in their dictionary.
4. Salary credited? Only when the boss feels generous, which is about as frequent as a comet sighting.
5. Employee lifespan? It's like playing roulette with fate - the worse your luck, the shorter your stay.