How long should I, 30M, chat on a dating app before asking a girl out? I realise that while Ive had a few good matches and chatted for 2-3 days, it fizzles out. Its a bit of a struggle maintaining momentum without meeting in person.
3
My parents and siblings are all naturalized citizens. I refused to give up my birth country citizenship to become a u.s citizen. They have been egging me for forever now. We immigrated here when I was 4 years old. All my siblings became citizens at 18. I said no. I hope to return back to my birth country soon. I hate the USA. Im 34 with about $1.4M saved. Maybe 3 more years of working. I can live like a queen back home with $2M until death. Thanks for reading.
I recently bought a timeshare at vacation village at Parkway in Orlando, FL on Week 50 for a 2 bedroom. I am still in my recession period and have a few more days to decide to cancel. Terms are: 10,508.92 buy in price 1,292 maintenance and taxes bi-annually (so 755 a year if I include the 109 RCI renewal cost). I also have a bonus week and escape week (escape being only vacation villa properties). This week is highly valued and I’d get my value back within 20 years… but thoughts?
I took a two-year career break after being laid off in early 2024 to focus on my mental and physical health. I’ve worked hard to get my life back on track and feel ready to return to tech. But the job market has me wondering if I’ve hurt my career by stepping away for so long. As a woman in tech, the anxiety is getting to me. I know I don’t want to be a housewife, I want to get back to work and rebuild my career. Did I mess up my future, or can I still make a comeback?
Between 3-5 messages has been my sweet spot Last week I was feeling hot and asked in the first message. Was shocked she said yes but she mentioned appreciating me having a nice plan and being direct
Strong agree, like 5 messages back and forth is best Now married to someone i asked out on the 4th message
Too much chatting makes you enter the friend zone. People are having multiple interactions simultaneously so just keep the objective (meeting in person) in mind. Also being too complete about yourself removes any remaining ‘mystery’ that makes people want to meet you
I 30W, prefer to meet early as soon as I start thinking that I might like you, because I hate to like somebody and then meet them in real life and realize that that wasn’t it. Now this thing about this is a lot of people think they need to do this grand gesture date and really all we’re doing is meeting each other so I like to go on a walk at a park that is pretty common or a place that’s pretty familiar and then we walk and we see how that plays out we might sit down at the bench, and then maybe later you might say let’s go to the bar then we’re not dressed up or anything we’re just enjoying each other’s time and then I will know if this was the right thing for me
Sorry 😞 maybe next time then
A few hours
So glad the comments are saying this, to many folks are spending weeks talking and getting no where
A few minutes to an hour or so. You're spending way too much time chatting with someone you might not have any physical chemistry with.
Same day, it’s seeing if they have interest in you or not. My results have been successful like that and my current GF, I asked out and met the next day.
Immediately ask them out...
Are you using one of the apps that let you do video chat as well? If the messages are going well you can always pivot to video, if that goes well then ask her out. I’m not on the apps anymore but if we go a week messaging on it and we haven’t made a plan to meet or at least video call then I’m probably checking out.
I know bumble had video when I was on there. Just find your angle and have proper lighting. Maybe ask when they will be available so you both can look your best.
I've met several people IRL after connecting with them online, with varying degrees of success (briefly date, never going beyond "friends", even marriage). My fiancé and I chatted back and forth for a year before he flew to meet me last year (he's from another country than I am). All of that is to say, there's no real right or wrong amount of time to wait before asking someone you're interested in out. If you feel like it's the right time *for you*, just do so. You never know what may happen!
I like a phone call within a day or two. I don’t want to spend time getting excited about someone who when I meet them is not someone I want to spend time with. A phone call helps me get a sense of their personality and if we will have banter in our conversation. Texting allows time to present yourself as witty, plus I stuck at responding timely to texts. Everything you say in an all day text conversation you can say in a 30 minutes conversation and I get a sense of your personality. This tells me if I want to meet you IRL.